committing constructive suicide… lessons in living… because even suicidal people can be positively inspiring.
We can commit constructive suicide every day
We can kill off the call to the adrenaline rush of threatening our own life
We can kill off the lust to provoke regret from our enemies
We can kill off the enjoyment of endulging in projections of our own self pity of how ‘they’ll all wish I’d lived’.
We can kill off the competition with others who inspire us with how much more desperate and determined their attempts, their hopelessness was than our own.
We can kill off the indulgence in self hatred, self disgust and accept that we may not be what we admired in others but we can begin to love what is uniquely our own combination of traits even if others don’t.
We can kill off the belief that life holds no hope, no joy, no excitement, no importance and damned well make a daily plan to take tiny steps each day to create these things instead of thinking it is someone else’s job.
We can kill off the pride which stops us from caring about ourselves just because nobody else showed us we were worth it.
We can kill off the belief that we are not worth it and consider all those who have nobody and how we could be a somebody in those lives in some way.
We can kill off unreasonable expectations that only an improbably minority could ever achieve anyway and start being ‘fair’.
We can kill off playing with the dark whilst we weaken our experience in exploring the light.
We can kill off the belief that life with medication or anti-anxiety or mood altering supplements are such an extreme imposition we would rather be dead.
We can kill off the belief that suicide is an answer because suicide is nothing and nothing will not solve anything.
Welcome to the adventure of life if you dare.
from Donna Williams *)